I think I’ve become a dinosaur.
Rarely a day goes by that someone doesn’t ask me how much longer I’m going to work.
The short answer: I can retire anytime I wish. I just haven’t “wished” enough yet.
The long answer: When the job becomes more of a burden than a joy, I’ll retire.
I asked my doctor, the legendary Fred A. Hurst, the same question. He told me he didn’t golf, fish, hunt or even mow his own yard, so what would he do if he retired?
I know where Dr. Fred is coming from. I don’t do any of the things he mentioned, except mow my own yard. Right now, my health is good. I have a decent position, a great boss, co-workers that I like and there are no compliance issues with state or federal regulations at present to complicate. I feel useful, and mostly respected. As long as things remain so, I am not in the greatest hurry to retire.
If I needed other reasons not to retire, a few weeks ago I received a letter by “snail mail” (aka the U. S. Postal Service) from the Social Security Administration (SSA). I have told several people about it, so you, Dear Reader, might already have heard this tale.
Right off the bat, the letter informed me that I would soon be turning sixty-two. My first thought—SSA doesn’t even know how old I am! I won’t even be sixty until July 8 of this year. Can I not enjoy in peace my last few couple of months being in my fifties?
Further reading of the letter informed me that SSA does indeed know how old I am.
The letter next informed me that there are decisions I would need to make at age 62. I might be dim-witted at times, clueless at others, but it generally doesn’t take me over two years to make most decisions. Nonetheless, I am appreciative of the advance notice for preparation.
Most interesting in the letter were the dollar amounts I could expect to draw from SSA if I chose to start drawing my Social Security benefits at various ages. At age 62, I can expect, based on my current earnings record, to “draw” less than half of my current monthly take-home pay. If I decide to wait until age 70, I can expect to “draw” about two-thirds of my current take-home salary.
The letter informed me that Social Security was not intended to serve as my sole source of retirement. How nice of SSA to inform me of this at almost 60—I don’t remember them advising me on this point when I began my career at age 22!
I must not forget to mention that the woman I married may be eligible to receive a death benefit of $255 (you are all invited, Dear Readers, to the shindig she’ll undoubtedly throw, aka my funeral). She might also be eligible to “draw” some portion of my Social Security if I die (at least the amount might not be enough to make her want to immediately plan my murder, so I guess I can continue watching Columbo and Law and Order episodes in her presence without fear). I hope she enjoys the hound out of my Social Security!
What if I outlive that woman? I guess I’ll receive some kind of benefits from SSA until I start “drawing it out” or “cash in my chips” (in which case Cooke-Campbell Mortuary can enjoy the $255 death benefit!).
The letter ended with another joyful tidbit. Social Security is currently fully funded through 2035, the year I turn 70 years old! Talk about irony!
Reading that letter made retirement seem much less appealing than it had before I opened the envelope. I have concluded that the government wants me to work as long as possible and pay into Social Security, then drop dead with no heirs before I receive the first benefit check.
If you’ve read this far, please know I am being somewhat sarcastic. I am grateful for the benefits our government provides to its elderly citizens. I recently read that at the beginning of the Great Depression a great number of the elderly in America were living in poverty. A Google search will provide more information about this and what senior citizens did to survive before Social Security. President Franklin Roosevelt signed the Social Security Act into law to provide some means of support for America’s senior citizens who could do little to support themselves during that tragic period of our nation’s history.
Reading of history will show how later administrations manipulated Social Security, including borrowing from the fund and taxing SSA benefits.
I was fortunate. Diane Jessee, my first co-teacher at Luttrell Elementary, introduced me to Lester Vineyard, a financial adviser who attended her church. When I was at the young age of 22, Lester asked me about my long-range financial goals. Though Lester didn’t tell me that Social Security was not intended to be my only intended source of retirement income, he guided me to other investments that would financially supplement SSA in my old age. Those insurance policies and annuities cost very little when purchased at a young age. What Lester said made good sense to me as my mother influenced me through her great belief in insurance.
Even with the insurance policies and investments to which Lester Vineyard guided me almost 40 years ago, I will never be rich. I will be fortunate if I can remain comfortable in old age. At least I have some measure of hope.
Retirement is eagerly anticipated by most, but comfort and happiness in retirement takes years of planning and preparation. The best advice that can be given to those just entering the world of work is to start planning for retirement on the first day of employment.
Rich or poor, good or bad, we are all travelers in this journey of life, all headed to the same end. No matter how elaborate the funeral and monument, almost all graves have the same dimensions, and urns are even smaller. And the Social Security death benefit is the same for all who are eligible.

Answer to Question of the Week #57:
How did the fireworks know they were in love? (Answer: Their sparks were flying.)
Question of the Week # 58:
Why did the mathematician not want to hear any jokes about circles? (See next week’s article in historicunioncounty.com for the answer.)