Spider in My Face
“Do you want to go and see FireFox this weekend?” Tim asked the first summer we started dating.
No way did I want to see that guy movie about Clint Eastwood stealing some Russian place. But since Tim still had the new boyfriend status, I answered, “Yea. I can’t wait.”
We watched it at a drive-in theater, which is now a shopping center. Tim was somehow entranced by this movie. As for me, it was mind numbing. Desperate for something entertaining, I watched the concession stand. Let’s face it, there were only so many times you could watch people buy popcorn and a drink. And I felt cramped inside his small Camaro. The only good thing about the date was the fact that I was with him.
At one point, I had my eyes on the movie screen, but I wasn’t really watching. That’s when I went into a daze. You know, the kind you have right before you fall asleep and start to drool. Suddenly, my eyes blurred. Leaning my head back, I blinked and focused my eyes.
For a second, I couldn’t breathe. I was too terrified to move or do anything. Dangling in front of my face was a spider hanging from its web. A huge, icky, reddish brown monster with long hinged legs. This thing had almost dropped down on my nose.
Oh, the horror.
Whenever I see a spider, it’s a life or death situation because one of us is going to die. That time it felt like it was going to be me. I could hear and feel each thump of my heart.
My gut instinct was to scream and get as far away as I could from that hideous thing. But I realized something. The breath from my scream could cause the spider to swing on its web and it could swing back far enough to land on my face. Let me tell you, if that happened, the inside of Tim’s car would never be the same.
Not to mention, I didn’t want him to see me come unglued. Not yet anyway.
This old Tomboy has never liked to be the damsel in distress, but this time I desperately needed help to get out of this waking nightmare. I said a quick silent prayer for that icky thing to not get on my face.
Then, I closed my eyes and shoved the image of the dangling spider to the back of my mind. Next, I gently and slowly leaned back and shifted sideways in my seat. Remember, I didn’t want to make it swing. It took everything I had to remain calm and not think about what was dangling in front of my face.
Gently and slowly, I scooted around in my hot leather seat. I know I left some of my skin on it. With my left hand, I tapped Tim’s elbow to get his attention. I don’t think he had turned his head in my direction since the movie started. Not even for a little kiss. Being afraid to expel a lot of air, I said through clenched teeth, “Spider in face.”
Without taking his eyes off the movie screen, he gave me an answer that I have come to know quite well since that summer evening in 1982- “Huh?”
Too bad I didn’t also pray for him to pay real attention to me. Again, I managed to force back the image of the spider and how it was still hanging so close to my face. I tapped his elbow with more force this time and I said a little louder, “Spider in face!”
He tore his eyes away from the screen and toward my direction. When he saw the spider, he narrowed his eyes. Instantly, I felt relief. Thank God this horrible ordeal was almost over. I didn’t know how much more of this I could’ve taken.” But nothing happened. Well, nothing except for him saying, “Oh.”
I couldn’t believe he didn’t immediately come to my rescue. But in all fairness, he was probably thinking, “Look at the cute little spider,” while I was thinking, “Get the Spidezilla out of my face!”
My terror exploded out of me and I began screaming. God definitely heard my prayer since the spider didn’t get on my face. I know that nasty thing had to be swaying from all the air I was expelling.
You should’ve seen Tim jump into action then. After he reassured me the creepy spider was gone, I became angry. Too bad for Tim the “new boyfriend” status was out the window.
“What’s wrong with you? You never seen a spider before? You from another planet where they don’t have them?”
If it had been any other boy, I’m sure they would’ve never had asked me out again, thinking, “That girl’s nuts.” But not Tim. He likes the challenge of who I am. Often he tells people he’s never been bored with me. I am kinda proud of that statement.
Spiders and other problems often drop in on you when you least expect them. When that happens, you have two options. You can come unglued and let it get on your face or you can pray about it (Philippians 4:6) and have some self-control (2 Timothy 1:7.)
As for Tim, he still remembers that evening, too. Now when I yell “Spider!” he knows what to do.
“Be careful for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.” Philippians 4:6 (KJV)
“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7 (KJV)
“Here you go.” Timmy lays his red and green house shoe down on his bed in front of Tripp.
“This will be a comfortable bed for you.” He pushes down inside it with his finger. “See? It has a thick foam insole.”
Tripp looks up to Timmy and raises an eyebrow. “You want me to sleep in your stinky house shoe?”
“It’s not stinky!” Timmy protests. “My Mamaw gave them to me last year and I only wore them when she was here.”
Tripp pulls glitter out of his pocket and sprinkles it inside the house shoe. “Just in case.”
“Very funny. Now hop in the shoe please.”
Year One, Week Forty-Eight
It was forty years ago this very month that I received a Christmas gift that I would even now not trade for thousands of dollars.
I’m not even sure how it came about, but somehow my mother began saving S & H green stamps. At some point Hensley’s IGA must have issued them, for I don’t remember my mother ever shopping anywhere else. Perhaps she had my sister Anna Mae, my brother Jerry, or Cousin Lizzie Norton get them for her, as they lived and shopped in Knoxville.
Chiropractic’s integration into professional sports medical teams has resulted in the creation of the Professional Baseball Chiropractic Society (PBCS). The first annual PBCS workshop was held in March 2015. Many of the team chiropractors in Major League Baseball were in attendance as well as a few from Minor League Baseball. This first seminar even included a surprise visit from former MLB manager Joe Torre, who took some time to address those in attendance on how beneficial chiropractic was not only to him, but also to the players on the teams he managed.
Can you parallel park? I did once, only once. I quit while I was ahead. It is hard to do. I need a forty acre field on a good day. How I ever got through life without bumping fenders trying to park, I'll never know. Yes, I do. I always looked for a diagonal parking space or a parking garage where the attendant parked my car.
A lot of folks had their first taste of snow recently, and since snow is more welcome during the Christmas season, I decided to use it as this week’s topic. Trouble is I’ve written several articles about snow in the past, so I had to dig harder to find something fresh to write about. I did find something surprising, that I’d have to classify as weird science. It involves something called heavy water, so prepare to go sub-atomic.
My favorite kind of chocolate to work with is cocoa. However, that doesn't work for making dipping chocolate. At least I don't know how to do that. I have several candy recipes I make every Christmas, but Anne's favorite is my Chocolate Bon Bons.
I came across this candy recipe a few years ago. It certainly didn't look like a candy recipe. What candy lists flour among its ingredients? This is the only one I know of.
The Tennessee North Rural Planning Organization (RPO) meets on Thursday the 13th of December to prioritize TDOT funded road projects in the RPOs seven county region. Union County does not have any TDOT projects under construction, although the SR-33 project from the Knox County Line to South of SR-144 was recently moved to the Construction Phase.
What a wonderful time of the year! Celebrating Christmas and the New Year with family and friends, good food, memories of Christmas’ past and creating new memories. The New Year is a time for making resolutions and planning for changes we would like to experience in our lives in the coming year. With only four weeks remaining in 2018, we are running out of opportunities to take advantage of tax planning.
Most of us probably do not even recognize the name of Arthur Ernest Morgan; yet for those of us living in the the rural communities of the Tennessee Valley, Morgan should be remembered every time we switch on our lights or plug in our computers. Arthur Morgan was the first Director of the Tennessee Valley Authority, but he was much more than just a political appointee or bureaucratic figurehead. Morgan, a civil engineer, was an expert in water flow and water control. He was a hands on director who busied himself with the most intimate parts of the TVA: the inner workings of the dams and the communities they served. As an engineer, he designed the dams, made the earth move, mined the rock, and poured the concrete. As a visionary, he designed communities with energy efficient housing and environmental consideration. As an educator, Morgan saw the need to teach the people to use better farming practices and to train people to use electricity to make their daily chores easier.
Fellowship Christian Church located at 746 Tazewell Pike Luttrell TN 37779 will pickup anyone in the local area needing a ride to church. Call Sam at 865-607-3741 to schedule a ride.
Sunday School 10:00 AM
Sunday Worship Service 11:00 A.M
Sunday Evening Service 6:30 P.M
Wednesday Service 7:00 P.M
Union County Election Commission meets on the 2nd Thursday of each month at 2:30pm in room 101 of the Union County Courthouse to conduct election business which comes before the commission pursuant to its duties listed in, but not limited to TCA $2-12-116, and to conduct any other business that may come before the election commission at that time. Union County Election Commission, 901 Main Street, Suite 108, Maynardville, TN 37807, (865) 992-3471 http://www.electionsunioncountytn.com
Tony Lynn Brogdon, Sr. “Pap”-age 58 of Knoxville passed away Monday, December 17, 2018 surrounded by members of his close family. He was a member of Stonewall Baptist Church. Tony was a dump truck driver but worked with skills second to none.
He is survived by his five children, Tony Brogdon, Jr., William Brogdon, Brandy Brogdon, Sheridan Brogdon and wife, Janet; Dixie Hopson and husband, Josh. He had many grandkids and siblings who loved him dearly and he will be missed. In lieu of flowers, the family ask for donations to be made toward Pap’s funeral service in his name.
Martha E. Berkley, age 92 of Knoxville passed away December 16, 2018. She was a member of Washington Pike Baptist Church. Martha retired from Knox County Circuit Court. She was a strong Christian woman, a devoted mother, and a loving wife. Preceded in death by William G. Berkley; parents Herman E. and Cassie Turner; brother H. Eugene Turner Jr.; granddaughter Jill Berry. Survived by daughter, Sharon B. Kirkland and husband Garrett; sons, Tobe Cowden and wife Chela, and Mike Berkley; 5 grandchildren; 7 great-grandchildren; 2 great-great-grandchildren.
Goneau Gentry Heath was born August 20, 1921 and went to her heavenly home on December 13, 2018 at the age of 97. Goneau was a longtime member of North Knoxville Baptist Church. She was preceded in death by her father, Cleve Gentry and her mother, Bonnie Stooksbury Gentry; Aunt who raised her, Cora Stooksbury; husband of 51 years, K.C. Heath; Brothers, Ray and Carson Gentry; Sister, Jessie Beeler; Granddaughter, Julie Hourigan; Son-in-law, James "Jim" Bean.
Wanda Faye Henry, age 81, of Corryton joined her husband in heaven on December 12, 2018 at Tennova Powell. Member of Clear Springs Baptist Church. Preceded in death by husband Harvey Henry; parents Luke and Elizabeth Everett; sisters Juanita Boling, Iola Chandler, Lelia Davis; and brother David Everett.
Rev. Gains Harrell Lewis, Sr.-age 86 of Maynardville went to his Heavenly Home Friday morning, December 14, 2018. Harrell, above everything else, loved the Lord Jesus Christ as his Saviour and preached and witnessed so others would do the same. He was saved and was a member of Hubbs Grove Baptist Church and attended Fellowship Christian Church. He had pastored Leatherwood Baptist Church and Head of Barren Baptist Church. He was proud to be a lifetime citizen of Maynardville, Tennessee and was well-known and had many friends and family.
Betty Sue Baumgardner – age 77 of Washburn, passed away on Tuesday, December 11, 2018. She was a member of Mount Calvary Baptist Church in Knoxville. Betty was a loving wife and enjoyed crocheting and quilting.
She is preceded in death by parents, Edgar and Dorothy Glover; sisters, Mary Ann Glover and Nell Harper. Betty is survived by loving husband of 60 years, Reverend Albert “Dick” Baumgardner; sister, Jenntte; brother, Edward Glover; and several nieces and nephews.
Nicole “Nicky” Tyson, age 42, passed away on December 11, 2018. She was an outgoing woman who never met a stranger. She was the happiest when surrounded by family, friends, and her fur babies, whom she was very passionate about. Nicky could light up any room she walked in and will be missed by many. She is survived by fiancé Kenny Thomas, daughter April Tyson (Boo), sons Nicholas Gene Beaver and Hunter Dylan Leon Foster, parents Janice and Jim Shipley, granddaughter Payton McKenzie Abshire, close cousin/sister Kelly Williams, and many aunts, uncles, and cousins.
Campbell, Charles "Charlie" Winton, age 68 of Corryton, adored daddy and the most treasured grandpa, was welcomed into the arms of his Lord and Savior on, Wednesday, December 12, 2018. Awaiting this great reunion day was Charlie's sweetheart and the love of his life, Glenda Kay Campbell, his beloved wife. Also preceding his death are; parents Henderson & Ruth Campbell and sister Katherine Ann Campbell.
Sonja Denise Brown-age 53 of Luttrell passed away Tuesday, December 11, 2018 at her home. She was a member of Mynatt Road Baptist Church in Halls. Preceded in death by father, Leonard Allen Ridenour.
Survivors: husband, David Lee Brown; mother, Reba Evelyn Ridenour; brother, Ronnie Lynn Ridenour and wife, Donna; sister, Donna Michelle Gordon and husband, Gerald. Several nieces, nephews and a host of friends.
Graveside service and interment 12 Noon Saturday, December 15, 2018, Dyer Cemetery, Powder Springs. Arrangements by Cooke-Campbell Mortuary, Maynardville.