Spider in My Face


“Do you want to go and see FireFox this weekend?” Tim asked the first summer we started dating.

No way did I want to see that guy movie about Clint Eastwood stealing some Russian place. But since Tim still had the new boyfriend status, I answered, “Yea. I can’t wait.”

We watched it at a drive-in theater, which is now a shopping center. Tim was somehow entranced by this movie. As for me, it was mind numbing. Desperate for something entertaining, I watched the concession stand. Let’s face it, there were only so many times you could watch people buy popcorn and a drink. And I felt cramped inside his small Camaro. The only good thing about the date was the fact that I was with him.

At one point, I had my eyes on the movie screen, but I wasn’t really watching. That’s when I went into a daze. You know, the kind you have right before you fall asleep and start to drool. Suddenly, my eyes blurred. Leaning my head back, I blinked and focused my eyes.

For a second, I couldn’t breathe. I was too terrified to move or do anything. Dangling in front of my face was a spider hanging from its web. A huge, icky, reddish brown monster with long hinged legs. This thing had almost dropped down on my nose.

Oh, the horror.

Whenever I see a spider, it’s a life or death situation because one of us is going to die. That time it felt like it was going to be me. I could hear and feel each thump of my heart.

My gut instinct was to scream and get as far away as I could from that hideous thing. But I realized something. The breath from my scream could cause the spider to swing on its web and it could swing back far enough to land on my face. Let me tell you, if that happened, the inside of Tim’s car would never be the same.

Not to mention, I didn’t want him to see me come unglued. Not yet anyway.

This old Tomboy has never liked to be the damsel in distress, but this time I desperately needed help to get out of this waking nightmare. I said a quick silent prayer for that icky thing to not get on my face.

Then, I closed my eyes and shoved the image of the dangling spider to the back of my mind. Next, I gently and slowly leaned back and shifted sideways in my seat. Remember, I didn’t want to make it swing. It took everything I had to remain calm and not think about what was dangling in front of my face.

Gently and slowly, I scooted around in my hot leather seat. I know I left some of my skin on it. With my left hand, I tapped Tim’s elbow to get his attention. I don’t think he had turned his head in my direction since the movie started. Not even for a little kiss. Being afraid to expel a lot of air, I said through clenched teeth, “Spider in face.”
Without taking his eyes off the movie screen, he gave me an answer that I have come to know quite well since that summer evening in 1982- “Huh?”

Too bad I didn’t also pray for him to pay real attention to me. Again, I managed to force back the image of the spider and how it was still hanging so close to my face. I tapped his elbow with more force this time and I said a little louder, “Spider in face!”

He tore his eyes away from the screen and toward my direction. When he saw the spider, he narrowed his eyes. Instantly, I felt relief. Thank God this horrible ordeal was almost over. I didn’t know how much more of this I could’ve taken.” But nothing happened. Well, nothing except for him saying, “Oh.”

I couldn’t believe he didn’t immediately come to my rescue. But in all fairness, he was probably thinking, “Look at the cute little spider,” while I was thinking, “Get the Spidezilla out of my face!”

My terror exploded out of me and I began screaming. God definitely heard my prayer since the spider didn’t get on my face. I know that nasty thing had to be swaying from all the air I was expelling.

You should’ve seen Tim jump into action then. After he reassured me the creepy spider was gone, I became angry. Too bad for Tim the “new boyfriend” status was out the window.

“What’s wrong with you? You never seen a spider before? You from another planet where they don’t have them?”

If it had been any other boy, I’m sure they would’ve never had asked me out again, thinking, “That girl’s nuts.” But not Tim. He likes the challenge of who I am. Often he tells people he’s never been bored with me. I am kinda proud of that statement.

Spiders and other problems often drop in on you when you least expect them. When that happens, you have two options. You can come unglued and let it get on your face or you can pray about it (Philippians 4:6) and have some self-control (2 Timothy 1:7.)

As for Tim, he still remembers that evening, too. Now when I yell “Spider!” he knows what to do.

“Be careful for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.” Philippians 4:6 (KJV)

“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7 (KJV)



Get Your Morning Mojo at Liquid Lightning

Liquid Lightning

It is a great time to be a coffee drinker in Maynardville. Whether you are waking up early headed to work, finishing up the morning school drop offs, or just plain love to guzzle coffee all day, with one sip you will be sure to add a new stop to your daily route. Liquid Lightning, a local veteran owned and operated coffee shop, has opened their doors and put the go-juice on to brew with a goal of bringing delicious coffee, lots of laughs, and a sense of joy and comfort to the community.

Win for Author Kaye George

Kaye George

Knoxville TN: Local author Kaye George took home a second place win from BOULD (Bizarre, Outrageous, Unfettered, Limitless, Daring) for her short story Dream Girl. The story is published in BOULD Awards Short Story Anthology and is now available on Amazon.

Shirleys Bread

Shirley's Bread

I got a call from Aaron Russell the other day. He was checking to see how I was doing. He hadn't talked with me in a while. During the conversation, he mentions that he likes to bake bread. Not just any bread, but salt-rising bread. He described the process as well as how good the bread tastes. That got me thinking.

Ambulance Selfie

Ambulance Selfie

“Well, you always want an adventure!” Lynda locked the car doors.

It’s an interesting story how we had gotten to that point. Lynda is my best friend and cousin. We played ball together, ran around together, and went to the same middle and high school.

George Washington Cherry Treat

George Washington Cherry Treat

Fresh pie cherries aren't available in February. That's okay. Food City does my canning for me these days. They have one pound cans of red tart cherries on the shelf every day. I call them sour cherries.

Do you really think George cut down a cherry tree? Do you really think he fested up to the deed? Naw. George was known as a ladies man. I wouldn't be surprised if he did tell a lie now and then.

Science versus Faith

Blaise Pascal

Blaise Pascal once said, “The heart has its reasons, of which reason knows nothing… We know truth, not only by reason, but also by the heart.”

Pascal was a genius and a genuine polymath who lived in the 17th century. To cover his accomplishments and body of work would require volumes, which have already been written. I want to focus on the concept he so poetically illustrated above – the ever-present battle between the head and the heart. Specifically,

Cherry Creme Fudge

Cherry Creme Fudge

Here is a fudge recipe I made a long time ago, that is, if you call 1981 a long time ago. Fudge recipes have evolved over the years. They are easier to make now. Just cook up some sugar and evaporated milk. Add chocolate and marshmallow cream and you have fudge. But it is not the same as the old fashioned variety. Oldsters will agree with me. (I will share one of those recipes at a later date.).

Failed Back Surgery Is Relatively Common

Failed Back Surgery Is Relatively Common

Failed back surgery (continued low back and leg pain after surgery) is relatively common according to a new report from the Boston University School of Medicine. With each reoperation, success, as defined by pain reduction, becomes less likely and most patients do not improve. However, preliminary studies using a simple procedure to remove scar tissue or adhesions suggests a new treatment could help those with post-surgical, chronic low back pain.

The German Beer Stein

German Beer Stein

I have had a beautiful beer stein since World War II. My brother, Rodney, sent it back from Germany. He was part of a Navy goodwill tour that started at England then went on to Germany. He sent back two beer steins and a Black Forest coo coo clock from there.

When he returned home, Rod took back the coo coo clock and one beer stein. That left me with one beer stein. I have placed that beautiful beer stein in a prominent place in my home as I moved around the country. It is time to give it a permanent home while I am still here to do so.


Interested in Homeschooling?

Monday, February 25, 2019 - 18:00

Join us for our annual Mom's night out. Monday, February 25, at six pm when April Shepherd, from the Smoky Mountain Home Education Association will be speaking at Hardees. April, a proponent of country living and a successful homeschooling Mother, will be speaking on using everyday living to teach fundamentals and life skills. She has titled her talk, "Little House on the Prairie Schooling". Sponsored by the local support group of homeschooling families, more information can be obtained by contacting Connie Dickey @ 865-992-3629

Mens Conference

Friday, March 1, 2019 - 19:00
Alder Springs Missionary Baptist Church

Alder Springs Missionary Baptist Church will be hosting a Men’s Conference on Friday, March 1st at 7:00 P.M. and Saturday, March 2nd at 9:30 A.M.
Evangelists will be Rev. Jerry Vittatoe and Rev. Mike Viles. Pastor, Rev. Jimmy Davidson extends a hearty welcome to all men.

4-H County Baking Contest

Monday, March 18, 2019 - 17:00

After youth have participated in school during February, they will be awarded a blue ribbon to move forward to the county contest. The entries at the county will be due for judging on March 18 then displayed with awards at the Extension Month Open House on March 19 for sampling.

MPL Small Business Expo

Saturday, March 23, 2019 - 09:00

Small Business Expo
Hosted by Maynardville Public Library
296 Main St, Maynardville, Tennessee 37807
Saturday, March 23, 2019 at 9 AM – 1 PM
Our 3rd Annual Expo to showcase the many small businesses in Union County. Drop by to see what our county has to offer and support these local businesses.
If you are a business owner looking to attend fill out the following google form by March 15th



Franklin Delano Capps

Frank Capps-age 85 of Knoxville passed away Thursday morning, February 21, 2019 at U. T. Medical Center. Member of Warwick’s Chapel Baptist Church. He was a U. S. Army Veteran. Frank was a long-standing owner/operator of auto service garages in the Luttrell area. Preceded in death by wife, Ithel McHone Capps; daughter, Brenda Smyth.

Obituary for Mary Carolyn Childress

Mary Carolyn Childress, age 84 of East Knoxville, passed away Thursday, February 21, 2019 at her home. She attended Buffat Heights Baptist Church. She was a long- time employee of Supreme Contracting. She was the daughter of the late Carl and Frances Whitt, Proceeded in death by Jack Childress. Survived by brothers; Ronnie (Phyllis) Whitt, Tom (Jo) Whitt, and Steve Whitt. Several nieces, nephews, great nieces, and great nephews. Longtime friends, Mack and Lily Thomas and Bryan and Sherry Linander.

Janice Ann Beeler Fields

Janice Ann Beeler Fields-age 66 of Corbin, Kentucky passed away suddenly Monday morning, February 18, 2019 at her home. She was a loving mother, nana, sister and friend. She will be sadly missed by all. Janice was a member of Nave Hill Baptist Church and was a former co-owner of Fields Apparel in Monticello, Kentucky. She was recently employed at SEKRI, Corbin, Kentucky for 22 years. Preceded in death by parents, James Aubrey and Lillie Beeler, two brothers, Gary and Terry Beeler; nephew, Adam Beeler.

Robert Bradley Douglas

Robert Bradley Douglas, known as Brad Douglas, was born October 12th, 1978. Brad spent his life in the Knoxville area embracing the Tennessee Volunteers, fishing and hiking. Brad's favorite thing to do was to take him and his family exploring. It is with great sadness that the family of Brad Douglas announces his passing at the age of 40. His spirit, enthusiasm and willingness to put other's needs above his own will be missed but not forgotten.

Robert Bruce Kezer

R. Bruce Kezer-age 84 of Knoxville departed this world for heaven on February 15 from his home. His family was at his side. Born in Jersey City, NJ, on September 30, 1934 to Edwin and Ruth (Adams) Kezer, Bruce graduated from the University of Vermont in 1957. He then entered the US Army and served, in peacetime, for three years until being honorably discharged at the rank of Lieutenant. Bruce loved Jesus with all his heart, and worked to live instead of the other way around.

Thomas Michael McLaughlin

Thomas M. McLaughlin age 57 currently of Maynardville TN, formerly of Edison NJ, passed away on February 8th 2019 at UT Hospital following an exhausting battle with cancer. Preceded in death by father, Thomas W, and brother Michael W McLaughlin.

Survived by wife Kathie, daughter and son-in-law Jennifer McLaughlin and Josh Lamb, son TJ, mother Elaine, sister and brother-in-law Lori and Gary Yurchak, grandchildren Chris and Michael, as well as a host of other relatives and friends.

Judson "Juddy" Bailey

Judson “Juddy“ Bailey - age 79 of Washburn, was born on February 27, 1939 and passed away peacefully on Sunday, February 10, 2019. We all called him Pap. He was a member of Nave Hill Baptist Church. He loved his family, hunting, playing cards, dogs and driving around. He spent his last few months putting on his shoes and saying “I believe I will go home”. He is finally “home“, peacefully in the arms of Jesus.

Frances Jane Nichols

Frances Jane Nichols “Janey”, age 61, of Rockford, went to be with the Lord on February 8, 2019, surrounded by her loved ones. She was a beloved mom, sister, and granny. Preceded in death by parents Jack Huggins and Bernice Van Dyke, brother Jackie Huggins, sisters Sarah Munsey, Sandy Huggins, and Darlene Dunaway.

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