Spider in My Face

spider

“Do you want to go and see FireFox this weekend?” Tim asked the first summer we started dating.

No way did I want to see that guy movie about Clint Eastwood stealing some Russian place. But since Tim still had the new boyfriend status, I answered, “Yea. I can’t wait.”

We watched it at a drive-in theater, which is now a shopping center. Tim was somehow entranced by this movie. As for me, it was mind numbing. Desperate for something entertaining, I watched the concession stand. Let’s face it, there were only so many times you could watch people buy popcorn and a drink. And I felt cramped inside his small Camaro. The only good thing about the date was the fact that I was with him.

At one point, I had my eyes on the movie screen, but I wasn’t really watching. That’s when I went into a daze. You know, the kind you have right before you fall asleep and start to drool. Suddenly, my eyes blurred. Leaning my head back, I blinked and focused my eyes.

For a second, I couldn’t breathe. I was too terrified to move or do anything. Dangling in front of my face was a spider hanging from its web. A huge, icky, reddish brown monster with long hinged legs. This thing had almost dropped down on my nose.

Oh, the horror.

Whenever I see a spider, it’s a life or death situation because one of us is going to die. That time it felt like it was going to be me. I could hear and feel each thump of my heart.

My gut instinct was to scream and get as far away as I could from that hideous thing. But I realized something. The breath from my scream could cause the spider to swing on its web and it could swing back far enough to land on my face. Let me tell you, if that happened, the inside of Tim’s car would never be the same.

Not to mention, I didn’t want him to see me come unglued. Not yet anyway.

This old Tomboy has never liked to be the damsel in distress, but this time I desperately needed help to get out of this waking nightmare. I said a quick silent prayer for that icky thing to not get on my face.

Then, I closed my eyes and shoved the image of the dangling spider to the back of my mind. Next, I gently and slowly leaned back and shifted sideways in my seat. Remember, I didn’t want to make it swing. It took everything I had to remain calm and not think about what was dangling in front of my face.

Gently and slowly, I scooted around in my hot leather seat. I know I left some of my skin on it. With my left hand, I tapped Tim’s elbow to get his attention. I don’t think he had turned his head in my direction since the movie started. Not even for a little kiss. Being afraid to expel a lot of air, I said through clenched teeth, “Spider in face.”
Without taking his eyes off the movie screen, he gave me an answer that I have come to know quite well since that summer evening in 1982- “Huh?”

Too bad I didn’t also pray for him to pay real attention to me. Again, I managed to force back the image of the spider and how it was still hanging so close to my face. I tapped his elbow with more force this time and I said a little louder, “Spider in face!”

He tore his eyes away from the screen and toward my direction. When he saw the spider, he narrowed his eyes. Instantly, I felt relief. Thank God this horrible ordeal was almost over. I didn’t know how much more of this I could’ve taken.” But nothing happened. Well, nothing except for him saying, “Oh.”

I couldn’t believe he didn’t immediately come to my rescue. But in all fairness, he was probably thinking, “Look at the cute little spider,” while I was thinking, “Get the Spidezilla out of my face!”

My terror exploded out of me and I began screaming. God definitely heard my prayer since the spider didn’t get on my face. I know that nasty thing had to be swaying from all the air I was expelling.

You should’ve seen Tim jump into action then. After he reassured me the creepy spider was gone, I became angry. Too bad for Tim the “new boyfriend” status was out the window.

“What’s wrong with you? You never seen a spider before? You from another planet where they don’t have them?”

If it had been any other boy, I’m sure they would’ve never had asked me out again, thinking, “That girl’s nuts.” But not Tim. He likes the challenge of who I am. Often he tells people he’s never been bored with me. I am kinda proud of that statement.

Spiders and other problems often drop in on you when you least expect them. When that happens, you have two options. You can come unglued and let it get on your face or you can pray about it (Philippians 4:6) and have some self-control (2 Timothy 1:7.)

As for Tim, he still remembers that evening, too. Now when I yell “Spider!” he knows what to do.

“Be careful for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.” Philippians 4:6 (KJV)

“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7 (KJV)

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