I Don't Wanna Grow Up

Several readers will probably remember the words in the title as part of a jingle for Toys“R”Us. You might think that Toys“R”Us is no more, but a Google search will indicate that what was to some an icon has made a comeback (Source: https://x.com/toysrus?lang=en Retrieved May 28, 2025).
Not everything makes a comeback. Facebook presented me recently with what was called a “harsh truth”—"If you’re not losing friends, you’re not growing up.”
That seemed to be a morbid thought, but it did lead me to some self-reflection. How do people lose friends?
First of all, there are “friends”, and there are FRIENDS! It has been said of some that they consider everyone a friend until proven otherwise. While a sweet sentiment, in reality many who are considered “friends” are really only acquaintances.
For example, there was an individual I’d worked with for more than three decades. We’d broken bread together, visited in each other’s homes, worked on projects, attended meetings, and had mutual friends/acquaintances. I once asked this individual if she thought we’d keep in touch if one of us retired. The response—“Probably not.”
Hence one way to lose friends/acquaintances is through retirement or change of work place. The roster of co-workers changes as we grow older. I remember another lady I once worked with. She retired, and on her last day she said she would come back and visit us once every week. The woman has never darkened the door of her former place of employment since the last day she was on payroll.
And then there are the “fair weather” friends. Such people are really not friends at all. These are they which say, “Ask not what I can do for you, but what can you do for me?” As long as I’m useful, or act as is expected, I’m a friend. When I no longer serve a purpose or have a differing opinion, I am ignored. I call such people “part-time friends”. They come and go—come when they need something, go when I need something or am not needed.
I remember once attending the Tennessee Education Association Representative Assembly as a delegate. A lady sought me out, introduced herself, and proceeded to tell me she was running for an office. She was very personable, and asked me for my support. Of course I voted for such a warm, outgoing individual. I was happy that this lady won her election.
The very next year, I again attended the representative assembly, and happened upon this woman in passing. I spoke to her as I passed by, calling her by name. She passed by with her head (and nose) in the air, failing to acknowledge my existence.
My mother had a saying for people like this, and I’ve heard others use it as well—“Speak [blank], your mouth didn’t!”
Sadly, there are those who “befriend” others just to see how much information they can discover, particularly about other people. Such people are “busybodies”—not “busy bodies”. These people are not working productively, they are merely using “friendship” as a means of discovering gossip they can spread and embellish. Such people are not truly friends, either, and are in fact very dangerous people.
Acquaintances are many, easy to find, but more often than not do not develop into true FRIENDS. What is a FRIEND? There are many possible definitions, but consider this one—FRIENDS will always stick by you, even when they feel you did not stick by them. FRIENDS will inconvenience themselves on your behalf when there is nothing in it for them, other than the reward of your FRIENDSHIP.
I would daresay that everyone has experienced times when they felt betrayed by FRIENDS, and everyone has somehow failed to live up to a FRIEND’S expectations. Sometimes our expectations of our FRIENDS are so high that our FRIENDS can’t live up to them. God forgive me for the times a FRIEND has felt betrayed by me.
True FRIENDSHIP is a gift that should be well guarded and never taken for granted. One of the most heartbreaking things in life is to have a FRIEND taken from us by death. Our FRIENDSHIPS depend on so many things—where we are born, where we went to school/church, where we live, where we work, who we marry, who our relatives and FRIENDS marry, and countless other things which to a greater or lesser degree we exercise control. Perhaps a good way to look at FRIENDSHIPS are as gifts which, like precious jewelry, we might keep for a lifetime or lose, but either way, we enjoy while we have the chance.

ANSWER TO QUESTION OF THE WEEK # 61
How did the mathematician reply when asked if he’d like to hear a joke about statistics? (ANSWER: “Probably.”)

QUESTION OF THE WEEK # 62
Why did the invisible man turn down the job? (See next week’s article in historicunioncounty.com for the answer.)

EMAIL THOUGHTS ABOUT FRIENDSHIP

“The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they’re ignorant;
it’s just that they know so much that isn’t so.”
-- Ronald Reagan

Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend, Finney.
"Did you see the paper?" asked Gallagher. "They say I died!!"
"Yes, I saw it!" replied Finney. "Where are ye callin' from?"

CONSIDER ASKING YOUR CHILDREN:
Who would you say is your best friend right now?

Some of my friends exercise every day. Meanwhile I am watching a show I don't like because the remote fell on the floor.