Green Eyed Monster

Brooke Cox

It’s amazing how other people’s words can hit us with such force.

I was out with some lady friends and we were discussing prayer. One friend was one of those people who was as beautiful inside as she was on the outside.

She told us about an experience she had a few years ago. God told her to spend a day in prayer with Him. He didn’t want her to ask Him for anything. All He wanted her to do was to worship Him in prayer. She did and she was so blessed by it. It was an uplifting experience that changed her life. Every woman at that table was touched by her story.

But it didn’t settle so well with me. While her testimony was beautiful, I thought, “I pray all the time to you God, and you’ve never told me to spend prayer time in worship with you like that.” I felt slighted. I was glad for her and her blessing, but where was mine?

I guess you can say that I am a small prayer type of gal. I say small prayers all the time- literally. Remember, I am coordination challenged to the extreme. I thank God all the time for me not getting hurt or even hurting somebody else when I trip or stumble. I still bump into chairs and door facings. When I do, my loving husband says, “There’s a door there.”

For days, her words haunted me. I could not get away from them or how I felt. I knew it was wrong. Unable to carry the heavy load any longer, I went to my place of solace; the corner of our bedroom. I was in the house by myself, but I still shut the door.

I looked up and cried out “You know my heart God. I’m not going to hide it from you because I can’t! I’m being petty and I know it, so here it is!”

I didn’t immediately feel better, but I had done what I thought was right. Now, I waited to see if He would wave His hand and take my aggravating thoughts away. What else would He do?

A few days later, I was sitting at the computer working on a devotion for the Women’s Ministry at my church. While it was common for me to write there, it wasn’t common for the house to be completely quiet. Tim was at work and Sara was at school. And I didn’t have the TV or stereo blaring. There was no noise at all.

To this day, it’s hard to find the words for what I experienced. The best way to describe it is a small still voice boomed in my head. “THIS IS HOW YOU ARE TO WORSHIP ME!”

I almost fell out of the chair. For a few moments, I just sat there and soaked in the words the Lord had spoken to me. I had handed it over and He took care of it all right. Just as I had asked of Him.

My friend worshipped when she prayed. I worship when I write. I was jealous of somebody else’s blessing when I had my own within reach.

It’s ironic. I used to tell my daughter to never give bad thoughts a way into your mind or heart. All they need is a crack. Well, I had not only opened the door for my bad thoughts, but I invited them in and fed them and made them so comfortable they didn’t want to leave.

So, don’t be like me and be a good hostess to bad things. Pray, read your Bible, and keep the sweet tea and chocolate for yourself.

“God is spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in the spirit and in truth.” John 4:24 (NKJV)
“But He said, “More than that, blessed are those who hear the word of God and keep it!” Luke 11:28 (NKJV)

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Exact location information will be emailed to registered participants the week prior to workshops. Participants can bring their own laptop or tablet or use a tablet provided by the instructors. Because of the hands-on nature of the workshop, space is limited.

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